Social Norms Series: Chana the Gardener

Meet Chana. Chana joined Mastodon because she loves gardening: talking about it, looking at beautiful photos, learning techniques from around the world. She has made a few friends, experienced a lot of joy, and overall has had a nice time. She has political opinions, sure, and she talks about them with the people she trusts, but for the most part she doesn’t really care to get involved in fiery discourse on social media. No judgment against the people who do; it’s just not for her.

Lately, that has been harder and harder to achieve… but! She has also gotten better and better at keeping a sunny and tidy garden for her mind.

If you have been looking around and feeling alienated because it seems impossible to simply exist peacefully on the Fediverse while Jewish, here’s what Chana does to cultivate her Mastodon feed with the right mix of sunshine, water, and joy.

Chana blocks the users and moves on

When Chana spies something toxic, she blocks the user and moves on.

Why? In Chana’s view, argument only begets more argument and reactance; so, she never argues in the replies.
Block & report, or just block? Chana uses her discretion. Sometimes, the thought of trying to give an objective rationale why a certain post is problematic feels like all too much, and part of her just wants to close the app and never open it again. On days like that, Chana reasons that it’s better at least to take the steps she needs to feel safe, so that opening Mastodon can continue to be a joy and not a burden. Basically, any time a post gives Chana that cold, wrenching feeling in her gut, she trusts it, and does a quick block, to preserve her space in the world. Sometimes the explanation of why it gave her that feeling becomes clear in due time.
Why block and not mute? Well, to Chana, it’s not just important to her that she not see this person’s posts; she also wants to know that they can’t see hers. That makes her feel safer to be able to express herself on Mastodon. But that does come with the danger that they may notice that they are blocked. Chana is willing to take that risk.
Chana used to be on a general-interest server. Back then, she never bothered to report antisemitic posts; she had heard from friends that reports of antisemitism on servers with no stated interest in combating it are often ineffective. This makes sense; adjudicating antisemitism in the current climate is a lot to ask of generalist moderators who are not acquainted with the concerns of the Jewish community.
In essence, Chana figures that sometimes it’s better to take the path of least resistance so that at least she can stick around and keep having fun with her friends—but now that she’s on Babka, if a report is easy enough to do, she’s okay doing it.

Chana unfollows without argument

When someone she follows (not a close friend) posts something that ruins Chana’s day, she simply unfollows without argument. She doesn’t hold herself to any perfect rules or thresholds; she laughingly notes that she’s not even consistent, since the same post that she might brush off one day, might make her react differently on a day when she’s feeling vulnerable. Sometimes those contexts matter, especially when people are being callous in the wake of particular current events. But even if it’s totally personal and arbitrary, Chana reasons that her mind is a garden, and she can decide whose thoughts she decides to water it with.

Chana uses the ‘profile notes’ function to add little messages to herself about folks she comes across who give her major red flags but don’t quite feel blockable. It’s kind of like putting a label on a seedling, so that she knows to keep an eye on it.

Chana tends her followers list

Chana tends carefully to her followers list, by taking a quick peek at the people who follow her or interact with her posts. If she finds someone whose views make her feel unsafe to be emotionally vulnerable around them, she blocks them. She wants to make this space hers, so she can feel safe enough on followers-only to express her authentic self and build real friendships with the right people—and not feel worried about posting garden photos that might show where she lives!

Chana checks her followers by opening their profiles in the browser on their home server page, rather than logged in or in an app. That way she can see what their profile really looks like without any of the selective quirks of federation. It also shows her if they have boosted someone she has already blocked.
Chana ‘speed-weeds’ her followers quickly by “soft-blocking” them (hit block, then unblock). A soft-block allows her to ‘downgrade’ a following relationship while keeping the door open for future conversation.

Chana blocks quickly

When one of Chana’s flower photos starts to circulate widely, she gets very proactive about blocking quickly if she spies anyone who gives her a bad feeling. If she can block the first toxic person, she can avoid circulation amongst all their friends—which saves her a lot of effort and stress later!

Chana avoids hashtags

For peace of mind, Chana avoids hashtags—even the gardening ones! Sometimes even the most benign hashtags will have a surprise N_zi post in it, and Chana really doesn’t like being surprised like that. So, she made the personal judgment call that it’s best for her to avoid them altogether. She has made plenty of friends through organic growth (no pun intended!), meaning, her friends showing her posts to their friends.

Also, on a smaller community server like Babka, the Local feed is something she can actually keep up with! That has been another great way to meet interesting new people.

Chana uses lists to curate her feed

Chana still cares about current events, and she also cares deeply about her friends who share their grief and intense feelings about what is happening right now. She wants to keep up with these friends and these topics, but it is jarring and painful to see those posts scattered amongst beautiful flower photos—not to mention, it’s terribly heartbreaking every time. So, she curates her Home feed by putting those users in a special list, and clicking the button that says “Hide these posts from home”. This way Chana knows that when she’s just waking up and wants to scroll her feed for flower photos, she can wake up gently each day. When she’s ready, she can check her list. It makes a big difference to her, to know what she’s in for when she decides to open that list. This way, she can be kind to herself while also staying informed.

Things got much easier for Chana when she moved to Babka. She started by creating a secondary account just to see what it was like, because she realized she just needed a break from everything when things got really bad. She noticed immediately that so much of the heavy lifting had already been done: the moderation team had already suspended most of the people she had noticed harassing other Jewish users on the Fediverse, and she also saw that many servers that are noticeably less active about tending their communities to reduce antisemitic rhetoric are already silenced or limited. She was also very happy to discover the option to post local-only, so that she could have quality conversation with other Jews about difficult subjects, without worrying about people barging in to wrench discussion towards their agendas. There is something so satisfying about having a space where she can be her fullest, most joyful self, and have the chance to flower and bloom in peace.

Are you a Chana? Let’s talk on Babka!